


Bad Professor

by KrimsonMistress



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Gen, Silly, just for fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-20
Updated: 2018-06-20
Packaged: 2019-05-25 22:43:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14987186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrimsonMistress/pseuds/KrimsonMistress
Summary: Two new teachers arrive in Hogwarts. Can't be that worse, right? ... Right...?





	Bad Professor

Another year in Hogwarts, a new Defence against the Dark Arts teacher. Nothing new so far. But to the students delight there was also a new teacher for Potions. Nobody knew what happened to Snape – and nobody cared to be fair – and they all hoped for the new teacher to stay.

At least they did until they got to know her better.

Professor Droch-Boireannach had been under suspicious watch from Professor McGonagall from the beginning… probably because she was the only one who knew what her name meant since she could speak Gaelic.

It was also suspicious that Professor Smith didn’t teach the students Defence against the Dark Arts but Defence against Professor Droch-Boireannach.

The first incident happened in the first week of school. A first-grader visited the hospital wing with serious injuries, caused by an exploding potion. Professor Droch-Boireannach stated that the student was _dumb_ and that it had been his own fault for _being stupid_.

Professor Smith gave the student some chocolate frogs and had a talk with Professor Droch-Boireannach. It ended with him having blue hair for the rest of the week through a hex of the Potions professor.

The second incident followed soon. Droch-Boireannach did let two students have a duel of life and death because they had been fighting in her class. Smith was the one who stopped it, apologizing to everyone involved.

One day later Professor Droch-Boireannach was levitating a student above the astronomy tower because he dared to throw a weed in class. Professor Smith explained kindly that there were other ways of punishment.

It took about a month before the first student became a victim of the professor’s methods of teaching. Burned by a toxic potion he chocked to death. All Droch-Boireannach did was lecturing how amazing this death had been. The lesson then turned into a study of _how to hide a dead body._ The students were too terrified to mention the incident, so the dead student officially just went missing.

After some pet owls had vanished, Professor Smith finally found out that Professor Droch-Boireannach had been cooking and eating them for lunch because she liked the exercise of hunting her own meals. She also had some creatures of the Forbidden Forest in her pantry.

On Halloween Droch-Boireannach filled the classroom with living spiders, not the small ones but Aragog’s relatives. She found it very amusing when the students ran away screaming, hunted down by hungry spiders. Only thanks to Professor Smith no one died on that day.

On Christmas she invited evil snowmen to the party. Luckily there weren’t many students around and everyone could get to safety. Professor Smith finally melted them with a heating spell.

On New Year’s Eve she just got drunk and did nothing evil what made the teachers very happy. Until she tried snogging with all of them.

On Valentine’s Day she shot with heart-shaped arrows on students. Sadly, they didn’t work the way they should. No one fell in love, just in the hospital wing, even Professor Smith. He did try to take bow and arrow away from her, so she shot an arrow between his eyes.

On Easter Sunday she hid explosive eggs all over the school. A student lost his arm but luckily Madam Pomfrey was able to fix it again.

At the end of the year there were five students missing and never to be seen again and about fifty had suffered injuries during the year. But despite her many obvious flaws Droch-Boireannach was smart and funny, taught the students useful things and had a liking for exploding snap. She sometimes would play with the students instead of teaching. So all in all she wasn’t the worst teacher Hogwarts ever had.

 

In the next year Snape was back, along with a new Defence against the Dark Arts teacher. He rambled something about being frozen in carbonite by a crazy woman for a year and being freed by a grey-haired guy at the end of the year.

Soon Hogwarts went back to normal – well, as normal as Hogwarts can get – and no one thought about the teachers or the missing students again.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for this stupidity. I just found the idea pretty funny. xD  
> I'm not that got with silly/humor fics, I'm more the drama girl. So I guess this is a little practice if I can do something like that as well. You decide if it was okay. xD  
> ♥Lots of Love, Lucy


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